Bue, this is one of those many long stories and incomplete that I have in my pc. As should have it to finish to finish, good to know when that will happen, that's another subject. At the moment I leave this here until I can think of to do with all that I wrote.
will comment that this is the first attempt at novel that I have so good, surely there are many errors of time or things like that out there.
Chapter 1 Dear Diary: One hundred and fifty
months four thousand five hundred days, that was the last time I saw him walk through the vast gardens of my home, now it was only a memory in my mind. Every day go out walking in the gardens in their search, but never see him again. It
one hundred fifty-one months ago, the last time I saw him was a day like any other. The beautiful sunshine filtering through the large windows of my room, there on the horizon was always him, watching me. Always looked the same, with a light shirt, cotton, dark pants and half-broken, a beige cap that was horrible and always messy. His physique barely remember it, just remember that he was tall, would measure no more than six feet tall, dark brown hair, dark eyes, tanned complexion, a strong body, a little thin, a very expressive face almost devoid of feelings and look a little frightening and pervasive. As if I could see the truth through their eyes.
He always came to tea at seven o'clock in the afternoon, always saw me with an expression of dissatisfaction and discontent. Usually he sat in one of the tables in the kitchen and served her tea in a small metal vase was sorry for what I was ruined. When put to heat water for making tea and preparing things, I always looked for a pervasive and so terrifying that sometimes shook or committing blunders. He was always there, sitting watching each of my steps, my mistakes and successes. Once finished heat water and tea was ready, put three tablespoons of sugar-free not a sound issue was finishing his drink quickly, just waiting for me to finish my tea and went away without saying anything wrapped in the silence of the room.
Many times I would stare at his mug of metal, trying to imagine what it was his own, which was his character than that which always showed, several questions arose in his mind, but those questions had no answers. I always tried to see what lay beyond that cold attitude, but something would not let me move an insurmountable barrier. I sighed often as he would be dreaming, but it was useless to dream, after all the more likely you dream is that your dream does not resemble reality. That
stranger, I had never spoken, never had nor given me a smile. Just like a body without a soul, an endless void. He was a great existential doubt in my mind.
used to stay awake until the wee hours of the night imagining his voice, his smile, his character. Spun again and again over the bed trying to find answers to all my puzzles, in turn tried to stop thinking about him, but all remembered me, the empty, dark room, cold, night everything, absolutely everything.
It was all so monotonous, always did the same things, I spent hours admired by my window, sighing like a crazy in love and thinking it was an impossible dream, a dream impossible to achieve. It was very usual that night crying, I felt frustrated at not being able to achieve my goals, because they can not win her love.
the end of the day was very common for small tears fall from my cheeks, I knew it was home so sad my soul, just wanted to mourn for a while while watching hows my dreams were dying slowly.
I was always somewhat stubborn and insistent, that sometimes caused me problems because I gave up so easily and I caused damage to myself. I never realized when the war was lost before fighting. To be honest I hated this part of me, the part that never gave up, always struggling to beyond the ultimate consequences and always made me suffer.
One day, makes one hundred fifty-one months ago, everything becomes strange. The mysterious young man approached me to my house for tea as usual, but today was different, that day he looked so different. No subject seemed so cold, rather friendly and had much to say.
I offered her tea and smiled as fact and will always do, he just stared at me for a moment, who knows what I was thinking, and only limited in answering an almost imperceptible "Thanks." His voice almost inaudible even though it was so beautiful. The voice was thin, yet so masculine, tranquility and warmth transmitting simultaneously. I was entranced by her voice so special was that my spell that I had forgotten everything, I wanted him to say a word, wanted to know more about him, full of beautiful and distinctive voice.
I looked stunned, so my surprise was that I had not even realized that my cup with my own tea, had slipped from my hands and ended to stop crashed to the ground.
took me a couple of seconds to react, when I realized my act of sheer recklessness and all the tea was spilled on the floor. I looked at the floor thinking "I will be useless, I can not do or two things well." I took a rag that was inside of a sink and bent down to clean soil.
already on the ground could think a bit more calm, while raising the fine porcelain of my favorite cup. I felt a little bad for having broken without worsening my condition just the fact of having committed a blunder in front of young man with whom she was in love.
was sad, I shed a tear for feeling so useless, not to be layers of make things right as usual. Looked like the tiny pool area, which reflected my face occasionally distorted my figure because of my tears. My hands were shaking a little when I realized this in the middle of cleaning, I calmed down and sighed. After all was of no concern, and that man was just a person who served him tea.
Meanwhile the young man squatted by my side to help me, I looked surprised and immediately said
- Do not worry, I clean, I took a piece of broken china, but I cut my hand awkwardly when the subject is too strong.
I winced in pain and immediately went to the bathroom to clean, the bleeding was big, fast water color had turned red and I was starting to feel dizzy. "Stupid girl" I thought as I watched as water was becoming more red.
The young man was watching me from a while ago now, still with a gaze fixed on the blood flowing. He put his hand to his mouth and bit my lower lip a little, her face increasingly more distorted, was becoming paler. I figured he was impressed by the blood or something.
I felt sad, had managed to speak to me once and my stupidity led me to an unpleasant situation for him. I sadly "sorry" but I did not have the courage to speak, always committed the same mistakes in front of him, I felt be silly and made me sick.
more I was getting dizzy, I looked for a moment the sink, the water was even redder than before. I felt like I fell for a moment, as my body was subject to warm hands, then from there I do not remember anything else, just a sweet throb of a chest that held my body in the air. Chapter 2
In a completely clean room, a being vague on it, a being confused who lives in the past. It is only with a notebook in his hand writing scribbles that only he understands.
not know because it's there, just look harshly in his old book ever written. Sometimes he speaks of his past, he confuses the people lay dead people at a time around.
Everyone who sees it feels pity, pity, sadness, because he went crazy for overnight and no one knows why. Only knows the reason that notebook that jealously guards its greatest treasure. Sometimes just walking
saying strange words, inconsistent with deranged emotions and a white coat that reaches to the waist, but not always has. Walk
wondering millionth time because it started that way because I just let it all happen. Tears fall from his eyes red tired to mourn, blood falls from his lips tired of torturing and destroying itself by its memories.
Imagination phone to his poor and miserable destruction, poor woman, poor body, his soul, but perhaps it deserves, perhaps deserves such a stigma. It's just a simple curse that has haunted by what remains of life, or who knows maybe not, only she will decide, among those white walls and cushioned, with that white shirt with the book, with this brand, but still nothing is decided.
Maybe your brain think that yes, we will mark the stigma for a lifetime, but this may not be the case, it just depends on what is decided at a key moment at a climax. Meanwhile
this person cries, screams, falls and can not be waived only falls in the sweet despair, in a crude and crude existential agony. In a tangle of sad and agonizing feelings that perhaps the guide to their own destruction, to his own execution.
There is no person without an executioner, a person who is not someone who punished sooner or later, it may sometimes be a third person, but this is not the case. After all, she thinks that there is no executioner worse than itself, the company can not punish them enough, in fact, forgive quickly, but she did not seek the forgiveness of a group of people around her, seeking forgiveness from a single be no more than a memory, a fragmented soul Messiah. The
pieces of reality mixed with your imagination, rather pieces of mixed past with his present, his present is your past, your past is your present, its future is uncertain. It is stuck in a maze of paranoia of a person, a maze which can not leave, a maze in which she got to own will and which will not come out, is a reality maybe a little surreal, where she difference between reality and fiction, or perhaps the reality is correct and the erroneous ours. Nobody knows, but just need someone or something that will challenge her to come to light, out of the bubble in which he lives and distort their lives.
Who knows who or who dares to make such daring, after all sometimes do not move the wires from the thoughts of people out of pity or convenience, or perhaps no one is brave enough to try or perhaps prefer us to step aside and let everything flow or perhaps we are indifferent to the life of this person. Because no one dares to take it out of your bubble, after all she is suffering in there, she suffers in this white room, with his white shirt, she simply suffers to live and be seeking a pardon that never came from the mouth of the person she loves, because that person no longer exists in this earthly world. Chapter 3
Dear Diary:
When I awoke I was in my room, had wrist bandaged and was not bleeding anymore. I sighed with aplomb and completely covered myself with blankets of the bed.
"I'll be clumsy," I said as I looked into the darkness that lay beneath the covers and with an ironic tone I said to myself "Congratulations, you just break your achievements blunders.
I felt worse and worse, more and more sad, could have made my typical blunders later, on another occasion, with another person. I sighed and looked out the window a moment, he was not there as usual. I was alarmed to see him and not feel scared me out of bed quickly, but before he could make a move over someone walked through the door. I looked stunned
through the opening, was the young stranger. I looked instinctively the floor of the room, I was ashamed of such a ridiculous scene that had just made. Slowly I
"Sorry for the inconvenience, my face started getting red, always made the ridiculous
left without answering a cup of tea over my bedside table, next to a plate of food. I had not noticed who was carrying a tray in his hands as he walked towards me so quickly down the look. I looked astonished the meal just left at that place, while leaving him a little steam and rich aroma, although it was only a little meat and mashed potatoes.
The boy put down for a moment the tray on the floor and sat next to my bed. What I looked embarrassed but before he could say "I'm sorry", he simply took a long strand of my hair and held it to smell better, or so it seemed.
I simply stood there motionless, immersed in an embarrassing situation. My chest pressed to my heart, I felt something forcing me to scream as I felt, I was speechless but only immersed in my shame, I wanted the earth swallow me.
felt for a moment, everything was eternal, that time is not passed, that the hands of the clock in my room not move. But this was absurd, after all it was just a play of my imagination and feelings, they wanted that moment was eternal.
When I awoke from my trance, I realized that the boy had let my hair for a while, I thought it was all pure imagination on my part, but seeing as the undulations of a lock of hair that had happened checked distorted reality.
plate of food looked a little hesitant and after a while I started eating nervously, afraid of making a mistake as ever. But before he could take a bite of food to my mouth, the boy left the bed and sat near the window to admire the scenery.
Sometimes he thought he could read my thoughts, or maybe it was that I was too obvious with my feelings. I felt more relaxed when he saw the young man watched as I ate. When I finished I thanked nourish my body young. Although he just looked at me for a moment his eyes from his position and took the plate and cup and took her to the kitchen.
It was so relieved when he went to the kitchen for a while that I almost start to laugh in a way so outrageous that he had woken up to my neighbors. I sighed happily and for the hospitality he had received from my beloved.
Perhaps this was a great opportunity offered by fate, or perhaps a mere coincidence, but what made me happy was, finally had a chance to talk to him, or at least to give him a word.
When he returned immediately with outrageous tone and looking into his eyes shyly said
-East ... - I avoided his gaze for an instant cold and then I saw him "Thank you so much
sighed deeply and waited for a moment at least some sound , an action that answer my gratitude. He just came up and was confined to caress my head for a moment. Although they were only a few seconds seemed an eternity to me, an unforgettable moment in my memory, a strong memory of my heart and soul. After that was just leaving stunned. Chapter 4
Sad memories are restricted in their heart, mind lurk in shadows saddest, the most vindictive and horrible shadows. He can not understand why the events occurred, does not understand why it all happened so quickly and so clearly everything ended. His feelings selfish
destroy it slowly torn apart their reality and bathed in tears. Tears foolish to venture out for a fault impossible to remedy. Vaga
constantly in the room, in the darkness of his soul, in the clarity of his white waistcoat, his mind was lost in the middle of the road, lost his reason, there are only pure and impure feelings at once. Those feelings that the daily torture and that the rule as a puppet. Those feelings of guilt that we dominate you and me.
A unaffordable fault, impossible to forget and evade. Cries day and night without stopping, without getting under his own soul, without seeking to achieve forgiveness of a dead person is nothing more than a subtle hint of his mind that belongs to the underworld.
His reason rot slowly, because the shadows of its essence pursued until death or until their redemption, only she will choose their way or maybe not, after all, she alone is the protagonist of this great play called life. A work in which all act and make a role. A never-ending work in which even what seems most insipid has a role.
She fights against his punishment, fighting against your heart and strong feelings bland that his trial invalidated by despair, her sweet and tender despair. A desperation capable of destroying itself, able to take it to the death to be stronger.
She seeks what every man seeks an answer to every question, a solution, a rationale. But it is not easy to find the answer as it fell into the path full of thorns, spines that may hurt to death, tearing his body to the destruction of his being, his soul.
may be saved, but that will not help anyone, because no one can find an answer that only she can find in the complete darkness of the white room, in the full sadness of a broken heart to see how her love is dead for their cause, because of him.
Only at the end of his life he will know because of all the events, only at the end of the way the story is closed. A story that is written in the notebook carrying in his hands, which clings to its raw agony of being involved in the hardest-made chains that once blood was spilled at his feet, the blood that sealed his reason makes a little over twelve years ago. Blood that will forever condemn them.
As she walks without a break in the white room, a room with a single output, two roads, despair and redemption. Without even knowing which path to choose, not knowing what is right or wrong. Chapter 5
Dear Diary:
After what happened I could not sleep at all, the thought of him made my whole body shiver with joy. At the time I was so embarrassed I did not realize that was a long time was rolling on the floor hugging a pillow.
But that happiness was so ephemeral that I immediately realized that it was impossible for him to love me, surely it was nothing more than an acquaintance to him. I was so sad to think that I just erased my smile, sweet and thin tears fell from my cheek.
I often wondered why I could not get him to love me as I want because I could not love her. It may be too selfish of me to say but what does it take for me to love me, What is that of which I lack?
All such questions arise in my mind so weak and brittle, sometimes simply thought that if you stop seeing or if I moved or maybe you could stop being so sentimental and tear could I forget this feeling in my heart unilateral. But
I could not ever get to do, always trying to get away a while, for a strange reason always saw walking down the streets of the city or the garden, I always bumped into him, I simply looked coldly. Whenever I was about to buy a new home elsewhere in this vast continent, there was always something that reminded me, so I could never finish a deal. And with respect to be cool, though I tried a million times, just brought to love him even more.
Why am I so unlucky?, Why can not get my part?, It may be that love actually is linked to corrupt your feelings, as selfishness. A subtle and transparent selfishness not be called "love" so self-destructive egotism and every tear shed.
million things I thought as I was turning over in icy floor could not mitigate my feelings, feelings are impossible to satisfy, feeling dissatisfied with the situation. A gnawing sorrow
my whole soul imbued with the deepest hatred wrenching my emotions could not believe the fact of being a miser as mesquino and so full of sorrow and bitterness, as incapable of not exist without what I want, without reaching an impossible goal.
Each of my feelings were in my skin, it was like a stigma that never infinite end until my death, so leave these feelings that made me continually guiding the wisp.
A fire that advances more and more, to quench my desire to live, to be nothing more than a body without a soul to be nothing more than an object devoid of emotions, life, everything.
Strange things came to my mind to the inability to carry on the same feelings I had in the depths of my being. I sighed sadly, and stroked the cold glass of the window of my room, watching the reflection of a sad girl who cried tears of unilateral feelings in that vast darkness of his soul corrupted by their own egotism, whom everyone called "love." Just maybe come back to remember this feeling when I reflect on as twilight of his eyes dark as night, that night that houses all kinds of passionate desires and impossible to forget. Those memories will forever remain in my tears, my dear Pandora's boxes. Chapter 6
Cruel and accompanying sweet ignorance beings that see this woman is nothing more than a vegetable. Sweet agony of a soul outside, is nothing more than bunch of suffering that no one knows because they were incurred. Nobody strives
out of its state, after all, they actually ignored the nice dark Once his soul corrupted by demonic acts. Acts for which she was accused of crazy and captured in these four walls, so no one knew its truth.
A truth that would destroy our realities, alter everything. But ... why should we ignore reality, What is it we do not want to see?, Why we run from myriad forms of reality?
"We fled because our human condition allows us to believe in it? Why have so implanted in the mind an idea and see how torn apart our truth that we always believed scary, because we as "naked", we are without protection?, Why are the food of our own ignorance?, why not accept other opinions, points of view, the realities?
She is still here, enclosed by white walls and padded with white shirt, no one believes in his words, words full of truth and judged as a lie. She has exhausted their hopes, fell into the depths of his mind, has only one exit, his notebook. Write daily for sooner or later someone may find the truth, to find someone to believe.
Millions of questions are now in your mind, like mine. I'll wait with her in the maze of broken mirrors, where no one knows what the truth is, that labyrinth made by all and no one I can leave, or flee or hide. Where it is accepted that the distinct and traditional, this borderless world, where ignorance that attempts to slaughter.
not run, do not run, it's your chance, take that book and read to the end, only you can take it and think about what he says in his moral. Only you have that power, use it wisely, or this will all be in vain.
It is late, the hands began to turn, it's time, it's time. You can not escape more. We are in the eye of the storm, everything starts over once again the story takes shape to announce the end of ignorance, to embrace our differences. You do not have time, do not run, it all starts again. Hurry take my hand tightly and do not separate. Walk this road together without knowing our destiny in store for us.
Come, it's time, let us walk together this long and thorny way to end it once a story of love and ignorance, this path where the blood stain each of the streets he saw a human eye. That road is still unfinished and unresolved. Chapter 7
Dear Diary:
It's another day in my life, and woke up, but I felt I was still in the middle of the night sleeping peacefully in the darkness of my room. I got rushed to see what time it was, it was too late, once again I'm late everywhere. I hurried to dress
and ran, not knowing if he would reach the village before I closed all markets.
ran hastily up the wagon and climbed, I watched for a moment the morning landscape that lent for the occasion. The clear blue sky, clear water of the river that crossed the property, trees and birds, rays and I am warm and sweet aroma of wheat. All so well as usual. I looked at the silent young man immediately went to accompany me shopping.
was a quiet ride, only listened to the gait of the horses and the creak of wagon wheels. Sometimes I watched for a few seconds, but when I realized instantly that he turned her eyes toward me, running my eyes to the landscape of wheat fields bathed in mist.
was about to start whipping me with thoughts, but in a blink of an eye we were in the village. The young man went down before I could say something and all chivalry offered me his hand so he could go down. Instinctively I looked at his face red and said
"No need, I can single you-my tone was a little nervous and as always wanted to own my own blunder.
As soon left the vehicle inadvertently stepped on my long dress and went right to stop the boy's arms.
For a moment I thought my heart out of my mouth, wanted in part that this feeling is eternal, that will last each of the aromas of the young in my memory. But I reasoned sentences again I thought, "my heart beats so fast that probably realize that I feel something for him, I can not let that happen."
immediately pushed him a bit with my hands that were leaning gently on his chest and said decisively: "Thank you so much
immediately made an exaggerated bow and went without looking
sighed when I realized that was no longer around, and finally showed my face red. I smiled happily for his luck that day, but before he could move a step further, I realized that I had injured the ankle on the trip had given me.
not matter, it was not important, after all got a unique moment to treasure the rest of my mortal life. I walked two steps, but immediately fell to the ground cold and wet.
was in very poor conditions, people did not realize that they were knocked over and needed help, I just knew. Until he approached a young man with black shoes.
I stared for a moment on the cobblestone street, had a distinct air of aristocracy, white gloves, a dark hat, a cane, the finest brown wood, a dress that was entirely dark. But what amazed me was the color of his eyes and his deep feeling that gave me the look you straight in his eyes was "I will help you until your last secret will not reveal anything." For a moment I was scared to see him directly, but to see him again, his black hair swaying in the wind, the sun illuminating just above her head, her white skin, the sweet smell of roses, her lips red and his physique made me realize that I was trustworthy.
He immediately offered me his hand so he could get up, and a kind and gentlemanly you told me: "Miss
you should not be so dangerous in these places without company especially being hurt, "he offered his arm to support me," Please let me go with the rest of your purchases.
do not know why, but I felt that everyone was watching me, all the women looked at me and immediately ended up moving to the side of them started talking behind my back. Was one of those awkward situations you always tried to avoid, but there was no remedy.
I was walking with the odd guy for a long time while shopping, always asked her opinion on just answer me kindly and with a smile on his face. It was very strange the feeling was still with him, it was as if I knew of all life and exist before. Although perhaps it was all a cruel trick of my imagination and my feelings confused.
When he finally arrived at the square end shopping place just sat down, I was exhausted, I could not walk any more. I glanced at the boy who was watching the dance of autumn leaves in the wind, he sighed and said: "We can talk quietly
what ails you, after all just come when he finished talking he said, looking .- even at the falling leaves in the wind.
did not know how he had realized what was happening to me, but for a moment felt like a horrible chills through my body.
I do not know what you mean, better said, I do not know how he knows, "I said nervous tone.
For a moment I thought was right, I should have not come to that strange person who initially made me uneasy. But I sighed deeply, really needed to talk to anyone about what happened to me, I needed someone to listen, no matter who it is, only needed to be contained by someone.
He looked at me with a smile on his face, hoping that he is sincere. I calmed down and said,
-Solo is a broken heart, only that, I have a bit of bad luck, "I smiled sadly.
"If you do not tell what their feelings, they can not get anywhere either," he said seriously "But nobody
assures me that these feelings are accepted," said feeling worse, I really did wrong to talk to that person
- But no one also ensures you will not be accepted, do not bet on the odds, because they sometimes fail, even which are one hundred percent, man is sometimes able to perform miracles if he tries, "he said politely, for a moment sounded sane everything I had said and I really felt better
" Thanks "I said after sighing I felt a little relieved
that "No thanks, I like helping people," he said smiling, but nothing his eyes became serious "Though I warn you that sometimes people take a large mask theater, no one shows how it is, just fear it all comes to light, even the strangest and most painful secrets.
I was about to ask what he meant, but immediately my companion had appeared in the middle of the square and coming towards us. Came in haste, as not even realized he stumbled on his way with the crowd.
Before my beloved came to me the strange young man smiled and said softly tara I only knew what I was about to reveal.
"You should be careful, because from now on target wheel will start spinning in opposite to imagine, after all we all face in another face.
not understand what is meant, but before he could say any word, my dear I was at my side. We were in the midst of a tense situation, not knowing where it would end all and that this was going on, just seemed like the beginning of the storm. Chapter 8
voices only control your mind, so weak and fragile as glass. Everything is finished for them as people who contemplate between those white padded walls.
But the reality that only one who can stop his mission is his great sense of guilt. That feeling that dominates the controlled, becomes more and more crazy. Only those voices who stick to their reason become your worst executioner, only they reflect his guilt in reality, is your conscience, are his way of losing its last vestige of being human.
No one can hear their fault, those voices that whisper in my ear and all she says is "It's your fault", "not even worthy of death to be at peace with itself", "you can not escape your reality" "stop moving between threads, we're just a puppet," "Do not let back, it's too late."
She shed tears of blood but her body is just a puppet, one is dominated by their feelings. Every time I set out in a pool of his own tears all you see are the threads of his wrists, as more and different lines are beginning to do in your body, your face.
She hopes that someday something cutting those threads made by guilt, her tears stop your skin to reflect and take her to where her love lies beneath a thin stone inscriptions. Chapter 9
Dear Diary:
course foreboding wind, bringer of obscure allusions, balls that encourage the stench of death in the skin of the present. Wind that MECES
hair of those who were in that bubble where time went on, bring your hatred between eddies and thorns in your cold.
not blaspheme, shows your true form before it is too late to remember. Different looks
came to light, if ever I was afraid the sight of my beloved, this is the moment that gave me more than terror. The situation was shivering, though they were more than just looks, I felt that all pointed at me, glances slashed souls.
The strange young man came up and said with a smile as the wind mixed my hair:-Know
Milady apologize, but I need to talk to the young Vladimir said gently taking his galley and head bowed, her apologies I ask.
I kept quiet at the request, while viewing the situation with horror. The young man said
"Until we meet again my young friend.
He bowed, but I wondered why after all Vladimir belonged to a much lower social strata that young or I and most people treated him as a mere servant, but for me it was more than that.
"It's good to see you again sir," said Vladimir coolly hoping not to see him again where I traveled, but I guess I was wrong. You are a person who always find everywhere by mere coincidence, or so it seems.
The young stranger smiled calmly and said,
"Just take care of my flock, no offense Mr. wolf dressed in sheep- he said quietly
- Instead of watching me so you should take care of your work, my dear Yesua said with a smug tone
-Only when you are sure you will not show your fangs in front of this lady or the rest of the world, with a more friendly, almost annoying
"It's not something I aim for the moment," said fiercely
A horrible chills into my body to hear such a confession, there was something wrong in this whole conversation so full of metaphors. Frightened seeing both characters that appeared in my sight Yesua said
- All this would be more fun if your young companion understand, my dear young man of a thousand years, "smiled
- May that is, but I prefer to stay all across the threshold, as usual, "he said quietly," It's time we left, so if you will permit me, bows to Yesua and then put a hand on .- Goodbye my shoulder.
And just leave the young in the breeze of wind that terrifying full of sorrow and hatred that will never forget, a speech that marked me for life. Chapter 10
is lost, is like a lamb. It is only locked in their nefarious thoughts, walking aimlessly, looking for something but not know it. Seeks to break their own chains that bind to despair, longing to fly again.
is like a bird locked in her own cage is being controlled by his feelings, his body is a vessel, which allows you to feel physical pain.
think that everything could have done better, that things should not have done that. She really wants to change his destiny, but destiny and the wheel started rolling a long time, it is impossible to stop.
She knows there's no way without thorns, so no choice to face it, going toward the light, but still not strong enough. Still in the depths of his being does not have the courage to confront what they do not want to happen.
silently yelling, screaming without a voice, does not have enough power to be heard at these four walls, nobody cares about his words. Maybe one day you hear it calling those four walls, claiming to uncover the truth, but as she ever lose more than their strength, because she hopes that the glass is broken and let them see the other point of view, their version of the situation.
advantage as she knocks on the door of iron, which does not miss his voice, take advantage while you can to escape from reality. Run and run away, because once the door opens eat you nightmares. There is only one key to unlock the safe lock, that story that always begins with the same phrase, "dear diary". Solo is in your desire to continue or not. While she plays constantly
your neck, try to find those two brands that were once a symbol of their devotion and love for one person. But this stigma has been diminishing over time and now there are only two tiny dots on your neck.
Le sad not being able to keep better that mark, all that remains of their loved one.
Chapter 11 Dear Diary:
After walking a long way toward the wagon I noticed that the situation was but first, the atmosphere was tense. I looked for a moment to Vladimir, but he was serious, cold, aloof, only looking ahead.
was about to start talking when he interrupted my plans:
- You should not talk to strangers, except with people who are crazy how serious
Yesua said "Honestly I did not feel crazy, a little strange maybe, but not crazy," I said reproachfully
- The man is believed Jesus to all sees and hears, this crazy, it felt increasingly cold and distant
- Maybe he believes to be Jesus but I found it quite sane in my opinion-
But before he could continue speaking without wanting to clash with me young, which caused scattered food basket full of soil and air. Instinctively I began to put things together that had fallen without seeing the girl. When I finished and got my sight I met a beautiful young woman, eyes like the sky, hair the color of the sun, a kind look but a little shy, a little brunette complexion, would measure no more than 1.6 meters, had a beautiful curly telo really envied her. Barely finished
gather the latest and off the ground and said:
- Know excuse my stupidity, is that I did not see, "he said nervously" I'm sorry I have to go
- Wait, I cried, but she was gone- I was about to ask if I wanted to take her away, but later I looked at the floor too
without enthusiasm, and to my surprise I bumped into a bunch of black roses. I wondered if it was actually younger or who, after a whole bunch of that style was expensive.
ground I picked it up carefully to avoid damage among the flowers was a small note saying: "A man whose name can not be pronounced, for him, the person who destroyed my heart," to back it said "Your sad suitor guilty of your death. "
was a strange note, it was not unusual to find someone to write such a thing. After all too much if someone wrote the names for who was and who came and sometimes not even that. I looked bitterly
the field was like a signal, like a bad omen of what could maybe happen someday. I looked at my companion and I said without much thought:
"I'm going to the cemetery for a while, probably these flowers are for someone who died and rose so expensive not worth being wasted by leaving them on the street, I smiled, I felt that doing the right thing" If you're back within your rights the more we will see tomorrow ...
"It's a very dangerous place for a lady, remember that these places often have strange and unexplained deaths, are you sure you want less risk for the dead and a girl who can not forget? - said to dissuade my goal
"I'm sure, though I am dead, is a risk that I can run with you, low and almost inaudible" Besides I think if you were in the same situation would do the same as that girl. Chapter 12
She sometimes thought aloud: "Painful devotion that makes my heart he is not here to protect me, he's not here to love me, just stay in my vague memories.
not know what to do, I mourn, but my tears and can not get out of my eyes, I exhausted all my hopes, all my faith.
I'm touching the bottom of the well, I just want to relax, but feel, to die in the name of my loved one whose name was Vladimir, the name that one day my red lips uttered.
I can not endure to see how he slipped through my hands, my fingers clear as fine Snow, fragile as glass. I have no strength to keep fighting, I flee, I die, I want to rest.
I feel my body is surrounded by black roses, roses full of thorns, which bind me, that feed on my blood, my life, my life. I removed the only thing to live for the truth, my truth, I promise.
not accept living in a place where I do not listen, where my book is nothing but a fairy tale, something out of the cruel fiction, something out of a corrupt mind.
all see me as a complete crazy, but I know it is not so, I'm just different from the rest, I think differently, so just judge me like crazy and me trapped between these walls white.
Sometimes I see through the window, but everything is so dark outside, so full of lies, not like my walls white, pure, full of truths intolerable to the human ear.
Nobody dares to listen, no one desired the only hear a faint sound of my mouth is like hearing the echo of the end of the world as we know, no one is prepared.
I can not fight anymore, I want to die at once if this is to continue, because I'm just a person screaming in silence in the cell of his heart.
No one can snatch me nothing, and stripped me of everything, my land, my castle, my possessions, my voice, my beloved, my daughter, everything for which I struggled. Everything is gone in a blink of an eye, is just that, an empty, my body defiled to death.
This is the end, I want to fight no more, nobody will hear me. "
gazed once more the window, outside, wind that will rock your hair forever, those snowflakes that always fall at this time.
leaned her head on the floor and thought "This is the moment that I die." Shed a few tears falling on the floor and just decide to die. But this scene was sealed between their bad memories.
Chapter 13 Dear diary, I walked
dark, damp streets deserted. There was no around me, but I felt that someone was following me, a strange presence, something unknown.
I turned several times to verify my hypothesis, but all I saw were endless galleries of empty streets. My footsteps echoed through the place, felt that the sound of my shoes was like the ticking of a clock, as if walking without advance in time, alone in the endless maze of alleys.
When I reached my destination fine white flakes began to fall, were so pure and beautiful, I felt as if he saw a scene that would last forever. I touched the cold, thick gate of the cemetery, had thousands of sensations in my mind while my breath became a mere vapor. A million scenes danced a waltz in my mind, clearly remembered scenes I thought I had forgotten, I felt like part of a song without end, it was so beautiful yet so sad, thinking that this is part of the past and never be repeated twice with the same people or under the same circumstances. Silent tears ran through my body cold, it was as if I burned my skin or rather my soul. But it was too late to turn things back that I had no other moving uncertainly down the road I myself had chosen and decided to walk to the end of my days.
When I awoke from the trance in which I stood had been transferred a long time that fragile limit the graveyard.
Inside was nothing unusual, they were just rocks with snow and bathed in the light of the full moon. Sometimes braking to clean some tomb of some dead and dig the snow and some were buried only in white.
I walked through many scriptures, every so often I stopped to read some of his name to see if I could remember them for later if I get lost in the vast place, but it was useless, could not remember the existence of those who were once alive. It was strange, after all it was a person with excellent memory. But I quickly realized that even though I may never try could remember their names because, like any ordinary person, once a person died I forget it and how much will be but a memory. It will be like letting a bunch of my life buried under tons of earth, one will become nauseating, even though you know is there decomposed, leaving everything to the absolute abandonment of the place.
That place was only a portion of my memories, my dear Pandora's box with a lock infallible. Something that will live in the depths of my heart, buried like a thorn.
immediately stopped doing that my ideas flow and started to walk among endless corridors tombstones, did not know why, but instinctively walked to a grave, one of the farthest I had. Without thinking I looked back for a moment, I was afraid he could not understand because he was afraid to see what was behind me. I felt that feeling that looking back would be my last, I was afraid of making the same mistakes over and over again like a game that never ends, an endless punishment. Was a prisoner of my darkest memories and regrets, those are impossible to forget, those who make me human.
For a moment I saw a familiar silhouette. I approached for a closer look, it was the woman with whom I had hit that morning. She was kneeling on a stone giant, the only stone that was different from the rest. It was a stunningly beautiful image, a young woman kneeling slowly being covered by white flakes that purified his soul and write without being covered in white as a whole, sadly bathed in moonlight.
For a moment the young man looked at the moon clear and only for a moment I felt two tears fell from his cheek and if you rush the floor. I was sad to see that scene and not so close to nothing.
confused I started walking in the snow, even if he did not know what to do to cheer you wanted to know, but the question was, how? I was a little spellbound by the previous scene until a cold wind ruffled my hair with rage preventing advance to give the flowers to the girl and help. Going to keep walking, but it was useless, she had disappeared from time to time without me noticing and the wind had calmed down again.
I moved quietly to the grave and left flowers there, in that unique place full of memories and love of someone. I looked at the sky while I finished my prayer to pray to an unknown dead and for a moment I thought: "Do you remember me after my death?'ll See even a small space in your heart for the least to be?".
I felt depressed out of nowhere, two pearls bathed in the mantle of moonlight fell down and landed in the name of the dead. I already knew the answers to these questions, the answer was as simple as saying "only you will be a forgotten memory."
smiled bitterly as I rose from the grave and was crying silently. It was one of those times that much as I wanted to stop the flow of my tears could not, it was so painful. I felt as if carrying a heavy pack with stones on my shoulders. I sighed and smiled happily despite my tears would not stop. I walked
immersed in the darkness of my heart and cry of crows. I felt that death I lurked and was among its cold, but warm, claws. Wrapped in a blanket of sadness, in the mantle of my final agony. Sharp stratagems are girded about my paths. For a moment I felt the smell of death that came too near me, I panicked at the thought of dying at that instant. But before I finish react and that feeling was gone. It was as if he had gone elsewhere. Or maybe it was my imagination ... I can never forget that feeling ...
inhuman Chapter 14
All that is heard outside the room whispers of nurses are white. They speak of the woman frantically left his daughter, one that is confined in that room.
They did not know the woman who was inside, nobody knew because they had found by chance wandering in the streets of ghost town. Nobody understood what had happened in that small town, from one day to the other had disappeared from the face of the earth, as if the earth had swallowed him. The only survivor of the incident that day was that woman.
Many think that his madness is because she could see what happened that day, an incident so egregious that any data was lost, except the charred ruins of the place that no one visit. But many others say that she was a participant in the series of events occurred, no one can forget the day she was found clinging to a blanket of snow amid the rubble of the old town.
was alone, almost naked, with a strange look on his face, looked like a complete lunatic, but he spoke with complete naturalness of her lover. At first no one knew what to do with it, but immediately had an idea, a sanatorium and they take over, after all could not leave her in the village inhabited by crows and dead bodies.
Even today many people still think she was lucky to survive this incident, but many others believe that she really has a pact with the devil and that will only bring misfortune. Many times thought to kill her, many people thought she was the daughter of the devil, but only the brightest minds focused not allowed, just because they're sorry.
Maybe she is lucky to be in that state, but she is the daughter of the devil, but rather is reborn of human truth. As a young man could discover the truth that many people did not see. But she saw his strength and decided to believe in it, a change was implemented as ignorant by those beings who could not accept the fact and was sentenced to an eternity of darkness and ghosts that led to madness. Women outside
not know what to expect, do not know the final oil, the final outcome. The church bells ghost town replicate even in the mind of this poor woman, those bells that still mark the twelve o'clock that day grim snowy day. Those bells waiting to be heard by another being eternally linking the past, present and future. That hurricane memories and feelings join Desencontro for all eternity in that bunch of scribbled paper.
Chapter 15 Dear Diary:
walked hurriedly, felt even panic about what was happening around me, but I just got back into town, which was not far from the cemetery, I heard the cry of police sirens, What had happened?
I looked at some passersby who talked among themselves about what had happened, I approached them to hear the conversation. Among the few lights of the lanterns and snow the place, I heard the worst review possible. They had found a corpse in the cemetery. Not have much information, but apparently had been killed while I was in that place.
Without thinking much about the dangers that may come to be rushed back towards the cemetery when I got there they were lowering the body of the tree where he hung. As I learned when I got there and listening to the police, it was a slim young woman, blond hair, over so I could not figure out.
I watched the scene from outside, the girl had been hung a few meters from the entrance, one of the trees dry place. When I look at my body, I recognize the girl with the face of horror as I covered her mouth with her hands, she gasped. It was the same girl that I had hit that day in the morning. For a moment the body passed in front of my eyes and saw something special. Small marks on the neck. Not well understood, but appeared to be a bite of something.
not really understand the situation and to my immense lack of knowledge I went home, still thinking about the fate of the poor girl thinking about what had she done to deserve such a fate?. Both think of an answer to that question, I ended up causing sleepless nights, I remember when I saw again the window, it was morning.
Police said in their report the next day in the middle, the girl had committed suicide because he could not stand the pain he was suffering the loss of their loved a few months ago. There were no signs of fighting and it appeared that there was no murderer. I remember the newspaper thrown to the trash can as a sign of anger. How was it possible that no murderer? Had not seen the marks on his neck?.
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